Black Jokes

Short Black People Jokes

Q: What is the most difficult day in the Ghetto?
A: Father’s day.

Q: Why don’t blacks celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: KFC isn’t open on holidays.

Q: What would Martin Luther King be if he was white?
A: Alive.

Q: Why is there cotton in pill bottles?
A: To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.

Q: What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?
A: Jailbreak.

Q: What do you call a black priest?
A: Holy Shit.

Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit?
A: About nine months.

Q: Why do blacks wear white gloves?
A: So they don’t bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls.

Q: Why do blacks smell?
A: So blind people can hate them too.

Q: What’s long, black and smelly?
A: The unemployment line.

Q: Which part of the Bible won’t you find a black man?
A: The Book of Job.

Q: What did God say when he made the first black man?
A: “Damn, I burnt one.”

Q: What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
A: Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin.

Q: How does a black chick know if she’s pregnant?
A: When she pulls out the tampon, and all the cotton is already picked.

Q: The black guy I was walking behind stopped, turned and asked: “Are you following me?”
A: “No,” I said, “You’ve got evolution all mixed up.”

Q: What do you call a black woman who gets an abortion?
A: A member of Crimestoppers of America.

Q: What’s long and hard on a black guy?
A: First grade.

Q: What do black men get after sex?
A: 15 years to life.

Q: How are black people and tornadoes similar?
A: It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

Q: Why do black people sing to “To the left to the left to the left”?
A: Because they have no rights.

Long Black People Jokes

1. A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mom and says, “Look, Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look, Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the kid back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes, and I already hate you, black people!”

2. A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and asks for a beer. The bartender brings a beer and notices the parrot on his shoulder and says, “Hey that’s really neat. Where did you get it?” The parrot responds, “In the jungle, there’s millions of them.”

3. A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says “Show me it’s true what they say about black men.”
– So he stabs her and takes her purse.