Black Jokes

Short Black People Jokes

Q: How do you get 11 million followers?
A: Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

Q: Why don’t black women where underwear to the picnic?
A: Someone’s gotta keep the flies off the chicken

Q: How do you stop a black person from drowning?
A: Take your foot off the back of his head.

Q: How does a black girl know when shes pregnant?
A: Because when she takes out her tampon there’s no cotton left on it.

Q: How do you keep a black man out of your backyard?
A: Hang one in the front

Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they’re to busy beating the room for being black

Q: What is the difference between a Batman And a black man?
A: Batman can go out at night without robin.

Q: What is the most difficult day in the Ghetto?
A: Father’s day.

Q: What do the KKK and Nike have in common?
A: They both make black people run faster

Q: Why do black people smell?
A: So blind people can hate them too.

Q: Why do black people hate wearing braces?
A: Because they don’t want their teeth are behind bars as well.

Q: What do you call a truck full of blacks?
A: A good day hunting.

Q: Why don’t black people dream?
A: Because the last black person that had a dream got shot.

Q: Why don’t blacks celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: KFC isn’t open on holidays.

Q: What is long and black?
A: The KFC line.

Q: What’s the difference between a naked black chick and a naked white chick?
A: One’s on the cover of Playboy the other is on the cover of National Geographic.

Q:Why are black men so good at basketball
A:Because there good at running and shooting

Q: What would Martin Luther King be if he was white?
A: Alive.

Q: Why is there cotton in pill bottles?
A: To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.

Q: What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?
A: Jailbreak.

Q: What is the difference between an elephant and a black man
A: The elephant can raise a family

Q: What do you call a black priest?
A: Holy Shit.

Q: Whats the similarity between a black man and a submarine?
A: They both sink!

Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit?
A: About nine months.

Q: Why was white chocolate invented?
A: So black kids can get messy too.

Q: Why do blacks wear white gloves?
A: So they don’t bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls.

Q: Why do blacks smell?
A: So blind people can hate them too.

Q: Why are Black people so tall?
A: Because their Negros

Q: What’s long, black and smelly?
A: The unemployment line.

Q: Which part of the Bible won’t you find a black man?
A: The Book of Job.

Q: What did God say when he made the first black man?
A: “Damn, I burnt one.”

Q: What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
A: Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin.

Q: How does a black chick know if she’s pregnant?
A: When she pulls out the tampon, and all the cotton is already picked.

Q: The black guy I was walking behind stopped, turned and asked: “Are you following me?”
A: “No,” I said, “You’ve got evolution all mixed up.”

Q: What do you call a black woman who gets an abortion?
A: A member of Crimestoppers of America.

Q: What’s long and hard on a black guy?
A: First grade.

Q: What do black men get after sex?
A: 15 years to life.

Q: How are black people and tornadoes similar?
A: It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

Q: Why do black people sing to “To the left to the left to the left”?
A: Because they have no rights.

Q: What do a black man and a magician have in common?
A: They both make your things disappear.

Q: What is the opposite of a Smart Nerd?
A: A Black person.

Q: Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza?
A: A Pizza can feed a whole family.

Long Black People Jokes

1. A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mom and says, “Look, Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look, Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the kid back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes, and I already hate you, black people!”

2. A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and asks for a beer. The bartender brings a beer and notices the parrot on his shoulder and says, “Hey that’s really neat. Where did you get it?” The parrot responds, “In the jungle, there’s millions of them.”

3. A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says “Show me it’s true what they say about black men.”
– So he stabs her and takes her purse.

4. Two black guys who just robbed a bank together have been arrested by the cops. They are being questioned separately from each other and each one is told that they will be facing jail time. When they get to the station, they are handcuffed to the bench and one of them has a big smile on his face while the other is sullen. The sullen one says,”Yo, why is you so happy?” The happy one answers, “Because I’s going to Mexico”. The sullen one is in disbelief. “Mexico? What make you say that?” “Well, I don’t knows what the officer said to you, but he looked me straight up and said “You’re going to the can, coon!”

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